Consultations

Contact Liz Taylor 

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Family Conferences

Aging Parents

 Aging Us –

    Planning For Our Own Aging

    Making Our Wishes Known – Setting Up Directives

    Staying in Our Homes – Managing for the Future

FAMILY CONFERENCES

Caring for an aging family member usually affects the entire family. That’s why a family conference can be a great starting point for working together and finding the best solutions. Family conferences can be instrumental in gaining the cooperation of the older person, even when there’s a history of denial and disagreement. And, it lays the groundwork for a family to come together in meeting the needs of aging parents and other family members.

Topics for Discussion

• Crisis management
• Long-term and short-term planning
• Dementia (such as Alzheimer’s or other dementing illnesses)
• Remaining at home
• Independent, assisted living, and nursing homes
• Home care management
• Living with relatives
• Appointing a guardian or trustee (family member or professional)
• Making end of life decisions

How the Family Conference Works

Family conferences can take place anywhere but are most often in the older person’s home. If the family or older person lives far away, the discussion can take place by conference call. If the older person is mentally capable, he or she must participate. None of us likes decisions made for us.
It’s important to invite everyone who has a say in the older person’s life, even siblings who don’t get along. Family conferences usually last no more than 2 hours.

Liz facilitates respectfully, but firmly, when she conducts family conferences. She is expert in diffusing difficult personalities, keeping the conversation on track, and straddling the landmines. With many years in the field, Liz can clarify the feasibility of various ideas that are proposed and understands what resources are available and their quality. She listens carefully and provides clear, impartial, and knowledgeable advice. Her priority is to provide solutions in the best interest of the older person.

Family conference fees are $125/hr, plus expenses*, billed in 15-minute increments.  Prior to the appointment, Liz will evaluate the situation with a designated family member during a free, brief telephone consultation.

*Expenses: If travel is required by car, the charge is half the hourly consultation rate round-trip starting from and ending in downtown Seattle.  All other expenses (plane, parking, hotels, etc.) will be charged directly to the client.

AGING PARENTS

Liz is exceptionally skilled at helping families and individuals come to grips with the changing physical and cognitive needs of older relatives.

This may include:

• Addressing their immediate needs in a crisis.

• Preventing a crisis by developing short and long-term strategies designed to match them with the resources that will make their lives better, more independent, and happier.

Typical issues may be:

• Determining whether in-home care or a residential care setting is best.     
• Developing “a road map” for meeting current and future challenges.
• Selecting the right providers.
• Dealing with someone who has a dementing illness.
• Working with difficult family members.
• Understanding what options exist if there’s not much money.
• Figuring out how to proceed when family members (including the older person) are in denial.
• Arranging for advance directives (like a Durable Power of Attorney).
• And, a host of other tough issues.

While a few older people are comfortable with these conversations and welcome them, most are not. Despite this, loving families understand the need to press forward to find the right assistance.

Liz works with her clients in person, by telephone or email. She begins by thoroughly evaluating the situation, including assessing the physical and cognitive strengths and deficits of the older person or couple; reviewing what financial resources are available (this determines possible options), talking to other family members, and developing a plan of action.

If the older person is mentally ill or has a dementing illness (such as Alzheimer’s or small strokes), adjustments to this scenario are required. To the extent possible, we want to avoid unnecessary anger and confusion for everyone involved.

Consultation costs are $125/hr, plus expenses*, billed in 15-minute increments.  Prior to the appointment, Liz will evaluate the situation with a designated family member during a free, brief telephone consultation.

*Expenses: If travel is required by car, the charge is half the hourly consultation rate round-trip starting from and ending in downtown Seattle.  All other expenses (plane, parking, hotels, etc.) will be charged directly to the client.

AGING US

Many people say the most interesting part about getting older is planning for it. Being able to look forward five, ten, twenty, or thirty years (who knows?) and work NOW to make it “the best old age” can be exciting and challenging. What does fate hold for us -- our health, our finances, our loved ones? We don’t know -- but there are many steps we must take to protect our interests and wishes ahead of time.

Liz has been thinking hard about these issues for the last three decades – for herself. She cared for her parents for eight years and observed where their planning (and lack thereof) led to good and bad outcomes. Her work with thousands of other elders and their families over the years has only confirmed the adage: “Prepare for the worst, plan for the best.”  Most of us want to live long, vigorous and happy lives, but to get there, we have to do our homework.

The issues are serious, but with thoughtful planning, they can become more manageable. Here are several examples:

• Who’s in your “safety circle” – the people who will protect your interests when you can’t? Most of us don’t fit the traditional family model anymore (a spouse and supportive kids nearby), but even those who do, must think carefully about how to create a system that will ensure that their needs and preferences will be followed someday. As tough as the topic might seem, there are new ideas – for singles and people without children, too -- that might surprise you.

• Where do you live? Will it serve you as your needs change? Do you have neighbors? Do they watch out for each other?  Are there exercise programs and walking areas nearby? Can you make your home safer, easier to maintain, or less expensive to live in? Or it is time to consider moving to a place that’s better suited for you as you get older?

• If you assume you’ll stay in your home until you die, do you know how you’ll get groceries when you can’t drive anymore? How you’ll see your friends, get to the doctor’s, prepare meals and take out the garbage when you’re unable? Do you know who pays for these services if you have to hire someone to help?

• What do you look for in a good long-term care insurance policy? How do you choose the right retirement or assisted living community? If your kids live here but your friends live there (or vice versa), how do you determine where YOU should live?

All of these issues and more are part of a long list of important items that need to be answered as you get older. The right time to explore your options is when you’re healthy and independent, so you can fill in the blanks as you move through life.
 
To help you plan for your aging, Liz offers individual, one-on-one consultations by telephone or email. Another possibility can be even more fun: exploring these issues as a group with your friends, book group or social club. Not only will you have your own issues to think about, but you’re sure to hear ideas you’ve never thought of before.

Individual and group “Aging Us” consultations are $125/hr, plus expenses*, billed in 15-minute increments.  Prior to the appointment, Liz will talk with you during a free, brief telephone consultation to make sure she can help.

*Expenses: If travel is required by car, the charge is half the hourly consultation rate round-trip starting from and ending in downtown Seattle.  All other expenses (plane, parking, hotels, etc.) will be charged directly to the client.